An Ox and a Lexus

What to say, what to say. I've now lived in Phnom Penh for a little over a week and it almost feels like I've been here much longer than that. I don't mean that in a bad way at all, I've just settled in and gotten comfortable faster than I ever expected which I think is in part due to the fact that this place is somewhat familiar to me because of my trip here 4 years ago.

Over the past few days, I've been getting a little more settled in with work and things are really starting to kick into gear which is very exciting. The first couple of months will be a lot of research preparation and information gathering, which is definitely not my favorite part, but it is, of course, key to successful research. I noticed this last week I have somewhat struggled with being motivated to do work and be productive since it is all very independent and I don't have specific hours or places I need to work. Then I realized this is the first time in my life that I haven't been in school and because I'm so used to being in a structured environment with specific assignments, deadlines, schedules, etc. it's been challenging to muster up the same motivation I would have during the school year. Additionally, I've never lived abroad for more than a few weeks, and typically when I'm in another country I'm there on vacation where my body naturally shuts down and relaxes so it can recover from my normally busy life during school. With all of that, I recognized that its going to take some time for me to get into the groove of things and that's ok - I've only been here a little over a week! I think I have such high expectations of myself and because I feel like I've been here so much longer, I keep getting upset with myself that I can't be as productive as I would like! Anyways, it's going to take time to get used to the fact that I am actually living in this place for a while, but soon I will adjust and work will require more from me, and I will be ready to be productive and do my job!

As I've been settling in and seeing more of the city and what life is like here, I've come across a few challenging things. Cambodia is considered a third-world country and there is tremendous poverty throughout the country, however, there are quite a few paradoxes that just blow my mind. You can literally be walking down the street, see an ox pulling a cart of food or other items, and then right next to it see a big Lexus SUV. Or, you can see beat up roads, trash and dead animals in the street, tin shacks with an entire family of 5 living in it, and then see a fancy restaurant or coffee shop with wireless internet or a giant mansion with maybe 1 or 2 people living in it. I understand that there is a lot going on in this country, but for purposes of not getting in to all of that I will simply say, it baffles me that such huge contrasts exist in one place.

Another thing that has just pulled at my heart is that human trafficking is all around me and right in front of my eyes. In the States, everything is hidden and even though you might be walking by a girl with a man who is forcing her to have sex with 10-15 men a day, you would never know it. Here, however, I walk down the street and walk right past a western man with a young asian girl/woman who is very dressed up heading towards an area filled with hotels and apartments of expats/tourists. Every day I walk to get something from the supermarket or go to a restaurant to eat and one block away from where I live I pass by a "karaoke" bar with a line of young girls standing by the front door waiting for men to walk through the door. I don't think I can explain how much my heart aches. Every day I literally walk by girls/women who are currently living through hell and who are forced to have sex with multiple men day in and day out, and there is nothing I can do about it. It's the most difficult thing I've ever been faced with, and I'm not sure what to do other than just pray and do everything in my power to make this research successful. If it's done right, the program will help bring stability to families and communities and will keep some children from undergoing the horrible experiences of the girls and women I walk by every day. I know I cannot protect every child from such injustice, but if what I'm doing here can even help and prevent one child from being trafficked, I will be successful. As I witness human trafficking every day, I have to focus on the hope and potential of the work I am doing and simply use it as motivation to put every ounce of my energy into the project.

I ask that you please pray for the girls I see and don't see who are greatly suffering and being forced to be used to fulfill the sinful desires of some men. Additionally, please pray for those men that they may see God, know the great suffering they are causing, and have the power to overcome their evil desires which are bringing harm to innocent people.